My Story. Part 1

When my time to be summoned by spirits came, I had no deep knowledge of the nature of shamanism, nor of who shamans were. Yes, by that time I was already closely connected to esotericism: it began at the age of 14, when I began to actively study the Tarot, the natural magic of the elements, and the relationship between the human soul and the world around it. Even earlier, in my childhood, I had spontaneous exits from my body (of course, I learned much later that it was called that). As a rule, they were associated with some stressful situations (such as a fight of my parents, for example) and resembled epileptic seizures. You know, it is quite interesting: to see my body lying on the floor, and my father and mother fussing over it, unclenching my teeth with a metal spoon and trying to bring me to my senses. Only many years later, immersed in the practice of shamanism, I learned that such things are one of the signs of a future shaman. But then, in the Soviet time, living in an ordinary Soviet city, who could know about it ...
The spirits really called me when I was already 36. At that time I was a mother three times. I had a degree in philology, a long experience in journalism and a sports career. I rented a gym where I trained people: before that I had successfully participated in the Russian Athletic Fitness Championship, where I was the bronze medalist.
At the time I lived far from my small motherland - Bashkortostan. It's a republic within Russia populated by Bashkirs and Tatars, descendants of the ancient Turkic tribes. One day a distinct voice in my head said: "Either you return to your homeland and start doing what you really should. Or you will be given a one-way ticket. Sounds scary, doesn't it? I understood that it was not a joke and the threat of death was very real : at that time I became very weak physically : my back and head hurt all the time, I woke up every morning absolutely joyless and only my children and thinking about them helped me to get up and do the daily chores. It was a very difficult time in my life: I had the feeling that I was not living my life and that I was not doing what I was supposed to do. I was surrounded by strangers with an alien mentality and I spent a huge amount of energy trying to build the right relationship with them...
The abyss looked at me with its cold lifeless eyes and the feeling of closeness to death did not leave me even for a minute. So when the knowledge of what to do came to me, I did not hesitate for a moment. The question of my personal life and death was literally a matter of the choice I now had to make. And I made it.